I grew up in a typical Chinese family, parents busy working to meet the end needs. As of now, I have difficulties in recalling good memories with my parents. That sweet memory seems faded away, and the only understanding that I get is my parents always busy to work. I do have siblings, but due to a high different age gap, we are seldom playing things in “eye-level” (I will elaborate more in the future). So my parenting style is obviously copying most of what I had been through in my childhood. I do realize that the need for building a secure connection to children is a responsibility. Parents are responsible for making a connection with their children. Not only providing physical needs but also emotional needs. Which is why I cultivate habits of consistent weekly spending time with my children. This is what I learned after attending Good Enough Parenting Workshop.
I was naive, I assume kids only needs little attention when they are 0 – 2 years, and mainly is feeding them. But building emotion connections from a young age is way easier to compare when they older. If I can turn back time, I do want to spend more time with my son when he is this age. Although I personally believe that I do spend enough time with him along these years. Putting effort is essential, especially when they are still young. Because it tends to forget easily, so I have to keep building a good relationship with my son.
In the beginning, it is kinda tricky for me to have consistent weekly spending time with my son. I have to make a schedule for this, pick one of the days where we both spend personal time. I choose Tuesday morning since that is the time I can come office slightly late. As I write this article, my son is just two years old. So our spending time consists of having breakfast together, we do play a guessing game, and share over a meal together.
He is quite talkative compared to his age, so lots of times he told me some stories that I do not quite understand. But that is ok because I make sure I really pay attention to what he says and confirming that I listen to him. These habits cultivate healthy emotions to children so that they will have a secure feeling of sharing things to parents. Tips is that remove all distraction (especially smartphone) and maintain eye contact.
What happens if you have two or more children? Take each of them out weekly. This exercise needs to be done individually. Take an example if you have three children. So the father needs to arrange an individual time with each of their kids, so does the mother and it needs to be at different time. Check these articles for more details.
You would not get the benefit after doing it one time. Cultivate this habit and slowly if you observe your children they will have changes (some children take a longer time, but that is ok. Make sure to keep doing it). You can also do some activity together, remember the focus is to build a relationship. I notice now my son listen more to what I told him. In the past, I have to keep repeating and tend to discipline him due to this. Apart from listening to me, he is often trying to find me instead of keep attached to my wife. The best part is that, when we play together, we really have lots of fun. I always keep reminding me that I need to aim to be a healthy parent, not competent.
Happy Chinese New Year 2019 for those who celebrate CNY 2019. I wish this year will bring more luck, prosperity, and health for the year 2019.
I have been wanting to have a noise-canceling headphone for a couple months. The significant contribution to this decision is due to my traveling frequency has increased tremendously. I am striking some lucky strike to sit side by side with babies and kids in airplanes for couple flights. How I wish to have a noise-canceling headphone at that time. The crying sound, combined with some random shouting out of nowhere, makes me decide I am going to get my noise-canceling headphones.
With some extensive research, for my budget, I am down to two options, Bose QC35 or Sony WH-1000XM3. Bose noise-canceling headphone has been the top choice for many years since QC25, and when they come out QC35, it becomes a big hit in the market. Before Sony WH-1000XM3, Bose dominates the top place in this category. I had tried both QC25 and QC35, I personally love the sound so much. Clear, Balanced, and produce great sound. It is an excellent headphone for average people like me, but I can tell it would not fall into purist audiophile as their top selection of headphones.
Firstly, I like the battery life. 30 hours long for wireless activity. Now that is really outstanding battery performance. Not to mention that you can have at least 5 hours battery life with just 10 mins charge. For frequent travel, this feature is totally a killer. When I am unboxing mine, it survives from my departing from my house until I arrive at the hotel with a total of about 7 hours. Not to mention, I still have about 20% battery life without any single charge moment.
Secondly, the sound really amplified especially the bass part. I am not a fan of bass, but hotel California by Eagle sounds close enough from what I heard thru Mayer speaker. Sony WH-1000XM3 is not able to give full frequency 20-20K Hz in crystal clear, but it is outstanding for daily use. I love acoustic-based music, so guitar sound matters to me, and this headphone gives me that satisfaction.
Thirdly and most important, noise-canceling feature. I use on a flight with noisy chatty tourism all around me, and it significantly reduces noise when I did not turn on my music. Yes, I am still able to listen to a sound, but it is reduced substantially to a very minimum. So when I play my music the greatest showman. I can listen to every single tune. There is no airplane sound, and it gives me a feeling of sitting in a quiet room, just me and my music.
Fourth, it is soooooooo comfortable to wear. Seriously, once you wear headphones for a couple hours, you will tend to take it out. It is light and made from suitable materials which explain wearing it for long hours is excellent.
Touch control on the right ear. Put your hand on top, you can hear the surrounding sound without taking off your earphone. This killer feature is really convenient and practical!!! Secondly, you can control your music player with some touch gesture, to skip the track, increase or decrease the volume or to play or pause. Lastly, download sony apps to do more settings for your earphone. One significant feature is earphone pressure control. There are times when you are in an airplane, your ear will have some discomfort due to sudden pressure change, and this app will help to adjust that.
Their travel casing is proper as well, and inside comes with cable plug, airline adapter, and USB-C cable for charging. It is enough for travel. I really wish it is more compact so it does not take lots of space in the bag, but it is ok.
When you are charging, there is a red LED, and once it is off, it means it is fully charged. A great indicator to me, as overcharges are the main reason to make battery life span shorter faster than average.
The button located at the left ear, for pairing thru Bluetooth, controlling noise canceling (reduce, on or off), and knowing the battery life by pressing on a button.
This headphone is good enough for taking calls, the drawback is that it will pick surrounding sound as well. Considering this headphone is not for calling, so it is ok. The touch sensitivity is high. If you accidentally touch it, it will pause. The touch area is big, so randomly, the touch will happen from time to time.
I had been interviewing many people in these past five days. I know that to land an interview, some may think it is kinda easy. But I tell you some secrets that you need to do in your resume before you come to interview. This is my upgraded version from my previous post about the meaningful interview – how to get it. Now you might clueless but fear not. What I share with you is from my own experience on how I pick good people and also how I really able to filter out those who are not fit to take the job.
This is the most essential thing that you should do. Do invest in a pleasant template or some design that makes your outstanding resume format. Yes, the content is critical, so does the visual. I never like to see a resume in a typical word format. Next is do include a professional photo. It should be either passport photos or business-related profile picture. I never like to see people attach their photo that seems taken from the Facebook profile picture, not to mention with some style and duck mouth (I saw this, I will delete the resume and find the next person). There is time for duck mouth photos but obviously, seldom work for an interview.
Recheck your spelling, again, and again. Remember your resume is about three to four pages (commonly), so do spend more time checking the spelling. Take a break between checking to ensure you did not miss anything. People who do recruitment are so sensitive towards wrong spelling. If you can’t do this simple job, forget about getting a more prominent role. Not including detailed information is a killer too. Say you have 6 years’ experience, but you only list the latest company where you just work for about 2 years. I will be wondering about the remaining 4 years. Mind you that I would not spend more time to check with you. If you did not even care to put, why should I?
For God’s sake, do remove this stuff. You love swimming, but applying for an accountant post, what is the relations? About height and weight are never needed actually. Unless it stated so for particular jobs such as stewardess/flight attendance. How about a fresh graduate? Ah, yes, you did not have any experience, so I would rather see what is your active activity during your study. Take the example of joining some competitions, championing a specific field, or any other things that might help you to stand out from other fresh graduates. Your grade is absolutely necessary to put.
But I saw someone putting winning a photography competition while applying as a programmer. Well, I seriously think it is not needed, but why not? How about social media account then? Unless it is for marketing or related job, it is not required. Linkedin will be useful to put.
Do include achievement, include the detail data and how you achieve it in brief. Don’t do this: “Improve overall sales” or “Bring impact to company-wide,” instead do this: “Increase 3% sales monthly with effective communication skills”. I do notice most resume is lacking in this part. We do want to see your job description, but the achievement will thrive.
Never ever show impoliteness to the person that calls you to arrange an interview. So what kind of things under impoliteness? Forgot that you apply job for such company, or you show “don’t care” attitude as long as you got the job to jump, or worse, you are not really sure you want to come to interview (this kind of people I will put adverse remark which it will stay permanently in their resume).
I know that these coming months many people graduate or celebrating for university students. I hope for the best of your career.
I am writing this from Bandung, and I really miss my family in KL. I am privilege to be able to go outstation to build business in Bandung, but with sacrifice of my family time. There are lots of things running in my mind, and obviously going back to KL soonest is what I desire most. From outside, you may think that I had achieve success, but I tell you what I am doing now is to build strong foundation in business. To enable this business help SME in Indonesia, this has been my passion and sole goal.
Yes, from short description above, it seems my work really important. I do ask questions time to time, is this really worth to sacrifice my family time? In this state of confusion, often I pray to God to give clear guidance. Thanks for my church network, most of the town I visit, I will be able to meet with new friends or sometimes old friends too. It has been 10 years I had become disciple, and I know that I have to set priority right about my life. I never like the term “No choice”. We have choices all the time.
So what is my first priority? God. First and foremost, I start my day and end my day trying my best worshiping God. I do failed many times and fall into sinful nature, but each fall I make a promise that I would never fall into same spot again. My second priority now is my wife and then comes my children. I know many parents put their children first then spouse. I share with you that you have to put your spouse first before children. My son actually copying me and my wife very well. If I teach him something but I never do it, it would not last long. He is learning by copying. That is how kids are.
So if the first, second and third has taken, so where you put your work in what number? Whenever I am traveling or meeting with new people, often times I get the feeling that people put their work above all. This is totally the opposite of set priority right. Think again, business world is a harsh world. Whenever it is not making profit, it would not last. Do you want a great life? Set your priority right from beginning. That is the key. Spend more time with your family, friends, or someone that dear to you. This will improve your overall life, and contribute to higher productivity. If you need to work with someone and you have the power to choose, are you going to choose someone who are moody or high spirit? If it is me, I will choose the high spirit one, because it will be pleasant working with them compare the other one.
So I do hope for those who are putting their work first, after reading this perhaps you start to think what really matters in your life. Because each of you are matters to God, so yes you are matter to someone else.
I would like to start with open question, Are you passionate person? Are many of your friends know about your passion? Lately, I got tons of questions about how I start my company, etc. At this moment, I do think that I am far from success, or what they imagine about me. Some of the myth or assumption that they have about me are:
Assumption: I am someone successful and rich.
Reality: No, I am not successful, I am just hard work. Rich is kinda subjective, but I do press my debt to my best minimum that I can.
Assumption: I am driving luxury car. (I seriously wonder what is the relation between boss / director in company with Mercedes Benz).
Reality: I still love my six year old Myvi. Been driving that to almost everywhere in West Malaysia. I am still not thinking to change it unless necessary.
Assumption: I do stay in big house.
Reality: No, I am currently stay in normal apartment. Big house is kinda nightmare for me as I can imagine how long I have to spend my weekend hour to clean that house.
Above are just couple of things that I have to keep clarify to many “New” friend, and I am still doing it every time. One thing for sure that I can tell you, I do really passionate in what I do. I want to do it best and only expect the best from it only. Most people know me on how picky I am about food. Yes, this is true. I do love to eat and I can go quite far for an incredible meal. I found that these kind of passionate people about food are quite common to find in Kuala Lumpur. Now the next big things is that, are you getting paid from doing what you love?
I have a chances to bring a topic to my team about why they should be passionate in what they do, if they did not. Perhaps it is time to change their choice of make a living. Rather than drag their feet to come to office just to finish their work. In short, I am building up a team who consist of passionate person. I rather work with these teams even their skill perhaps not up to par yet. Because they will grow exponentially strong among others.